To bring yourself to a state of meditation that suspense you from all this living is but a temporary reprieve - not nirvana. Sorry Buddha. You may have found bliss and peace by detaching, removing your Self from all that made you human to become the human we have revered for centuries. However, this is far from ordinary, undoubtedly it is un-average, and so very far away from being human.
Being human is to daily contend with self-doubt, inability to feel "I am enough" and still do the things that are needed to be done, go where you are being called, accept your thoughts for simply what they are . . . thoughts. And search, find that fleeting moment of bliss that makes this day worth living.